How A Wingman (or Wingwoman) Will Elevate Your Leadership Through The Highs and The Lows
Elevate Your Leadership
In today’s world, we’re constantly bombarded with the pressure to present a picture-perfect life – whether it’s striving for online validation, leveraging pods to boost profiles, or feeling the need to use chemicals to enhance appearances.
For many, it can feel exhausting, unfulfilling, and stressful.
This need to curate, filter, and strive for external likes and love hearts can become overwhelming.
But amidst all this, does anyone ever stop to consider who is in their corner versus what is in their corner?
Robin Dunbar, a British anthropologist and evolutionary psychologist, suggests that our brains are wired to manage relationships within a certain capacity:
👨🏻👩🏻👦🏻👦🏻 About 150 people in our tribe (with more intimate layers within that)
👨🏻👩🏻👦🏻👦🏻 50 in our clan
👨🏻👩🏻👦🏻👦🏻 25 in a larger family
👨🏻👩🏻👦🏻👦🏻 5 in our closest circle.
When you consider this, it highlights how many of our social media connections are, in reality, quite redundant. Yet, we often invest so much energy and emotion into these online connections, giving airtime to names that may not truly know us, or that we barely interact with unless we’re only potential targets for their sales pitches.
It’s easy to get caught up in the numbers game, thinking that a large network equates to meaningful connections. But how many of those names in our friend list or follower count genuinely have a place in our lives and are the wind beneath our wings, in life as well as in business? Because we need both.
Which brings me to someone incredibly special in my life who does both - my husband, my wingman.
Today is his birthday, and as I reflect on the whirlwind of life and the pressures that come with it, I’m reminded of how grateful I am to have him by my side.
He’s the one who lets me be me, encourages me to do what brings me joy, and holds me accountable in the most loving and supportive way.
There was a time, not too long ago, when I was at a crossroads. I had been holding back on what was causing me angst. My husband, Tim, called me out and asked me what was wrong.
I reluctantly admitted, ‘I’m not finding joy in doing my sales training business anymore.’
He had this look on his face that caused me, in true wife fashion, to snap, ‘What’s that look for?’
He didn’t hesitate.
‘We came to the USA so you could continue and ramp up your speaking more – why are you resisting it so much?’
[Wack!] It was a moment of truth.
‘Because the ramp-up takes so long, and sales training brings the money in faster,’ I replied.
And in a wingman kinda way, he simply said, ‘Honey, it’s not about the money – you, of all people, know that! Stop the sales training and do what brings you joy. Do what you do best – commit full-time to your speaking journey tonight.’
Who is your wingman or wingwoman?
The one who pushes you toward your best self, even when you’re hesitating at the edge of your own potential?
A true wingman or wingwoman isn’t just there to agree with you or tell you what you want to hear. They’re there to challenge you, to remind you that you are enough – warts, wrinkles, faults, and all.
In a world where it’s easy to get lost in the superficial, having someone who sees and loves the real you, and helps you love the real you, is invaluable.
And to share the fun! Especially to share the fun! You gotta share the fun!
ike the time I convinced him to drive over the border to Mexico just so we could get a stamp in our passport. We ended up getting pulled aside in our rental car (which we weren’t supposed to take out of the country), held up by Mexican Border Patrol with guns for 30 minutes. Who else does that? And no passport stamp!
Or the time I said ‘Keep Driving!’ over the border into Canada, and we couldn’t find a room at the inn. We parked in the Niagara Falls carpark, reclined our seats, pulled out the neck pillows, turned the heater on, and woke up at 9:30 am – engine still running only to find that we were the tourist attraction.
And who can forget him supporting me from afar while I walked the Camino de Santiago through Portugal and Spain solo with just a 7kg backpack? But in all of those moments, he had my back!
So, as I celebrate my husband’s birthday today, I also celebrate the gift of having a wingman – a man who is strong enough to stand back and let his wife step forward and own her place in the world with no insecurities, jealousy, or lack. A man who steps up when strength is needed, providing the safe and supportive space where femininity can thrive.
If you have someone like that in your life – someone who holds you accountable, supports your dreams, and loves you unconditionally – appreciate them.
And if you have the opportunity to be that someone for someone else, don’t take it for granted. They not only need you, they want you.
Because in the end, it’s not about the number of followers or the likes you get. It’s not about how perfect you look. It’s about how you you are. It’s about the quality of the connections you have and the quality of the person you become.
And when you have a wingman, or wingwoman in your corner, you have all the love and support you need to soar.
Happy Birthday to my incredible husband and to one amazing sales leader, Tim McClelland. Connect with him here on LinkedIn.
Thank you for being my wingman and for always letting me be me – even when it means spontaneous adventures, wild detours, and the odd, snappy, ‘What’s that look for?’
P.S. Next time, though, let’s maybe avoid the border crossings with guns involved. Or at least get that passport stamp!
As Usual,
I’m Bernadette – founder of the Decision-Led Revenue™ Operating System and The Revenue Leader of Influence™, where I work with CEOs and sales leaders to build a sales team they can rely on to think, make the call, tell the truth about pipeline and own the result.
If any of this resonated – or if you’re staring at a revenue problem that feels like it should have been solved by now – I’d love a conversation.
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And if you’d rather join the discussion, you can also join me on Substack. That’s where the Revenue Leader of Influence community is starting to have these conversations in real time.
